Today was a great day. I started to masturbate at one point and as I was accompanying it with pornographic images I had some moments of honesty and was able to stop. It took longer than it should have, but I stopped. It's the small things that can offer the most hope.
Along the same lines, one of today's greatest victories was a step forward in handling anxiety and depression. This morning I felt rotten. I was moping in the despair when I had the thought to pray. Prayer was, for many years, one of my fail proof sources of peace. I still pray every morning, night, and before meals, but it has been months since I really savored the experience like I once did. I prayed today, fervently, and that was the difference. I immediately recognized the distinction in my actions and the results of them. I felt immensely better. The despair wasn't quite gone though and it came and went in waves through the morning and during the first hour of church. In the meeting I remembered my experience and prayed again, striving for sincerity. The relief came again. As I went to the last class of the day I was reminded of God's love when I sat down and heard the lesson begin. "Pray Always" it was titled. I know sometimes it is hard to tell, but God wants to be in our lives. He knows, and I was reminded today, that real, lasting happiness only comes from doing what's right. He has and will show us those things which will bring us peace and joy. There are many ways through which we can and must invite Him to guide us, and prayer is perhaps the most powerful.
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